Third, “oral sex” is problematic at best. What “sex” consists of is a complicated, difficult topic, and to presume that the activities described in the article constitute sex is to denigrate people who may choose to engage in these activities precisely because they do not see them as sex, perhaps because their religion forbids sex outside of marriage or something like this. If we just run around willy nilly calling things sex without engaging in constructive dialog about what is and isn’t sex, we pigeonhole people into viewing their activities in ways that may not be compatible with what they would prefer to believe if we had a more open, inclusive society.
Women can sustain orgasms of length and intensity that men will simply never know (caveat: men can also become multi-orgasmic with a little bit of effort, but women still get the sweeter end of the stick in terms of orgasmic/peak arousal). So if you’re ignoring it, or are simply uninformed, you’re missing out on a massive treasure chest of sexual experience.
Well, reddit is heavily male dominated. And to be fair, men with good communication skills can give very relevant information. Actually, they can give more relevant information because it can be based on their experiences with many women instead of just one woman recounting her own experiences. With how much variance there is in people with regards to sex, that’s a good thing.
Awesome Alice! Great explanation! Also, the comment before mine (posted Feb 17, 2014) adds a great deal to your explanation. I think the best orgasmic experience occur with both focused, (often deep) vaginal penetration and external clitoris stimulation.
But for women it’s usually quite different. Sometimes maintaining stimulation after orgasm can cause you to cruise right into another one. Or, you might be able to dial back stimulation for a few seconds and then ramp it right back up again to bring her to climax. I find this works relatively often.
I flat refuse to ever have that discussion with any man ever again. I dated one guy when we broke up (20 years later) and he was very willing and tried and it didn’t happen. I know that played a role in the break up. My 2nd husband, it happened every time (he died). My current man is awesomely good. He is 99% impotent from cancer treatments. He tries. Maybe if their were not 20+ years of being abused BECAUSE I couldn’t achieve orgasm (and other reasons but that was what started it and was always the truth of the matter-he felt awful because of my problem), it would happen. I don’t know. He does try. No toys. Not sure why. He will occasionally use a straight dildo but nothing that vibrates and I have them. Obviously a waste of my money. He finally asked the fatal question, and I LIED. I will NEVER hurt another human being that bad.
Also she says that if the environment was right maybe it would be possible for her to achieve a female orgasm which I do agree to a certain extent but truthfully I believe something is wrong with her vagina. She loves me to death and says sex doesn’t really bother her but to me it does and the fact that I can’t give her an orgasm makes me feel like I am a total disgrace.
The realities for women vary, says Garcia. “There are some women who never experience orgasm. There are some women who experience orgasm during masturbation but not with a partner. There are some women who experience orgasm during sexual activity but not from penetration. There are some women who only experience orgasm with penetration. There are many women who vary, from one day to another and from one partner to another, depending on other physiological and psychological factors,” Garcia says.
I’ve had many orgasms with men in the past during intercourse but only once with my husband. I am very turned on by him but for some reason no matter what I/he or we do I can’t seem to orgasm. I love my husband, am very turned on by him so what is the issue?
Your partner will soon be on the verge of orgasm. The you have two options: opt for penetration if you think you can last long enough for her to come (careful – you run the risk of leaving her frustrated if you can’t make it long enough), or continue with the method described above and start stimulating the third location, which will give her immense pleasure. Either way, don’t let the excitement stop building (unfortunately, this can happen very quickly).
The key is to have the confidence that your body is perfect, the courage to explore your individual responses on your own, the trust to share this information with a caring partner, and the humor to laugh as you learn together. You never know what the results could be!
For a woman, it’s often more important to connect emotionally before establishing a physical connect. Start off with something that you know will touch her heart. Plan a romantic evening – dinner, soft lights, music and wine – the works. Start with the wine to get her relaxed. Pull her close and let the wine and the music do the trick! Before you know it, it’ll be she who unleashes her moves on you!
Moving back down, kiss down her stomach, sucking under her navel, maybe kissing along the edge of her underwear. Let your hands roam over her butt, squeezing, maybe smacking it if she’s into that. Pull her panties down (put a pillow under her hips to help with the angle) and take a deep breath before you dive right in. If you’re doing your job well, she’ll likely be squirming a little now, maybe panting.
Oral sex, like every other thing in life, is a work of passion. You don’t have to love your mister but love his d**k . My motto is: If you’re going to do it, do it right! That means: spit, hands, tongue, lips, breast, a** and those circular weights that hang when he walks! Intimidated? Don’t be…
In all my years of performing fellatio, I have observed one constant, each man likes to be pleasured differently. What works for John doesn’t make Sean c*m and what keeps Robert’s toes curling, doesn’t phase Tom. One thing all men seem to love though, is when you swallow their juices like unwanted gum. But there’s a long way to go before you get there.
With age comes maturity, and with maturity comes the knowledge that sex usually just isn’t as fun when only one partner gets off. One of the primary reasons men say they love giving oral sex is partly selfish: Making women feel good makes them feel good.
Not only is the tongue the strongest muscle in the human body, but guys, you also have a lot more control over your tongue than you do over your penis, allowing you to apply direct pressure to specific parts of the vagina. It’s crucial to vary the pressure of your tongue once you finally move toward your target. Use a broad, flat tongue to fully cover the vagina—this will apply gentle titillating pressure and will help lube up the area with saliva. For more intense pressure of specific arousal spots, like the clitoris, use a firm pointed tongue to circle and flick.
One mistake many guys make time and time again is that they often assume oral sex is virtually the same thing as standard intercourse. DO NOT simply thrust your tongue in and out of the vagina as you would with your penis. The tongue does not provide enough friction and is not long or thick enough to make this pleasurable. In general, stick to areas that are easier to access—like the clitoris. The clitoris is a woman’s most sensitive erogenous zone and, when stimulated correctly, leads to mind-blowing orgasms. Tease her for a while by lightly circling it with your tongue. Then try taking it into your mouth and gently sucking on it while softly flicking your tongue over the area—almost like a French kiss.
If you are expecting to give your woman an orgasm through penetration, then you must get her aroused first and foremost. Foreplay is crucial to the g-spot orgasm and this is what you have to focus on the most here. Although the clitoris does bring her satisfaction, you need to focus on the g-spot if you want to make her orgasm during intercourse. As you get her aroused during foreplay, this increases blood flow to the g-spot, making it bigger and more engorged. This makes it easier for you to hit during sex.MORE AT — http://tinyurl.com/j68s5dm
Hi, I’m Elizabeth! About 5mins ago, I orgasmed for my first time like 5 times!!The method I used was easy! First I got used to it by spitting on my fingers and putting them down there so it would get wet(you can also use water!) Next, I took my pointer finger and you will feel a little circle ball thing. Put your fingers just above it and rub with your pointer finger back and forth really fast. Suddenly, you will feel an amazing ticklish feeling where your clitoris (the circle ball thingy) is, keep rubbing, trust me, your lower abdomen will feel great! Now, concentrate on the ticklish feeling, and think about the person you would like to have sex with, keep rubbing, imagine you and the other person having sex. Suddenly, you will feel an explosion of awesomeness in your stomach and vagina! Your body will shake the longer and faster you rub. You will know when to stop, just don’t rub for too long after you get the ticklish feeling!
And over the last 10 years or so, I’ve made somewhere between 20 and 30 women have multiple orgasms in just a few minutes… (I’m not a male gigolo; just a very horny man in Miami, a city with plenty of “resources” in the female department).
I mean, ruined orgasms are a thing, but generally you’re right. When someone climaxes, just keep doing what you’re doing until you can feel their whole body relax (or they tell you to stop, obviously).
im not sure about this explaination, but i think its important for girls to know that the inside of their vagina, the hole,, the part where there cervix hangs down and connects does get simulateed from the clitoris. NOT only does it get simulated seperatly, but when engorgered with blood, ridges inside become more pronouce and provide a greater feeling for the penis. this provides great feeling and much different oragasmic feeling from the outside of the clitoris. NOT all women may experience, i had not until i was in my 30’s. For those that do, it is well worth it. I perfer this to a clitorial stimulation. SEX is quicker, faster, and this is one thing I cant give myself.
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Wow.. Thanks for your piece of advice here….. I’ve not tried any though but i’m going to and hopefully it works…. My problem is that with a condom i can last up to 1 hour but without i can’t boast of 5mins… I wonder if you can help me?
Once you have found the right spot, women need repeated stimulation in the same area in order to reach orgasm. Remember that orgasm alone should not be the only focus of oral sex. Heightened arousal, lubrication, and pleasurable sensations are all important whether or not she reaches orgasm. Because good oral sex means spending a little time downstairs, make sure to find yourself a comfortable position that you can maintain for at least ten minutes. Don’t just lick for one minute then move on. If the position she prefers is too hard on your neck, try lifting her hips up by placing a pillow underneath them, or by having her on her side and resting your head on the inside of her thigh. Also, you do not have to tolerate being suffocated or having your head squeezed by her legs, so use your hands on the inside of her thighs to remind her if needed.
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Pleasing a woman is difficult according to most men! No one really knows what a woman wants or likes, do they? And what makes it complicated is what she wants once, she may not want the second time around. Now, when things are so complex, how does a man know how to please his woman in bed? Well, the secret is that the first organ that needs to be stimulated is her brain.
There has been a lot of new research on orgasm the past few years about the female orgasm, says Garcia. “We now understand that orgasm is a both a biological and psychosocial experience. Studies have shown that psychological state, including whether someone is distracted or if they feel ashamed about engaging in sex in the first place (e.g., the sexual double standard), might limit the ability to experience orgasm,” says Garcia.