Nice to see a answer on female orgasms that includes the fact the Clitoris actually extends down and around the vagina and lower portion of the anus. So many assume the Clit and Vagina are separate entities when they are actually as you said “as a network of nerves and muscles”. I’m always blown away how many females don’t know their own anatomy and how it works. Many miss out on great sex because of this.
For the most part, you should be gentle with her lady bits. Run your entire tongue over the area, along with a couple of light thumps, as you make like a submarine and search for her labia/clitoral hood/G-spot. (So many parts, so little time.)
Next, spread her legs and edge her to a clitoral orgasm using your fingers. Remember, don’t let her come yet! Stop before she does and move onto stimulating her g-spot with your fingers. Once she’s on the brink of a g-spot orgasm, stop and don’t let her finish.
Get used to–femal orgasim serves no purpose whatsoever except to hurt people. If you don’t and can’t stand it-get with yourself. Its a mind game-mind over matter-if you don’t mind, it just don’t matter-got something productive.
For almost all girls, foreplay is massively important. If you think you can spread her legs, stick it in and have her screaming in fifteen seconds, you’re wrong. That doesn’t depend on the girl. woman can come like that.
– Start slow and build up rhythm later. If you want to know how to finger a girl right, don’t start aggressively. Starting slow allows her to appreciate the feel of flesh on flesh. This is the part where you pay attention to her reactions as it will give you a cue when to change your pace.
The tongue is more than capable of doing all the work itself, but you can take a woman even further by using your fingers. A great technique is to lick her clit and then gently put your middle finger inside her vagina. You can then rest you index finger and ring finger on the outside of her vagina. If she seems comfortable you can use the come hither technique. Using you index and middle finger, put them inside her vagina and then with the fingers inside her pretend you are signalling for someone to come over to you.
of course there are such things as G-spots, vaginal orgasms and multiple-orgasms (the kind where you shake all over and can’t walk for an hour). I’ve experienced all of them plenty of times, and there is not one time during sex without us experiencing orgasms. The secret is just to make your husband/boyfriend penetrate you deeply and keep his penis as close to your ‘front’ wall as possible, the G-spot is assumed to be near your front wall. Both of you have to be really wet, so don’t skip arousals and romantic turn-ons! I recommend gentle cullingus and even oral breast-stimulation (on the nipple, it’s AWWESOME) before ‘soft’ sex, and finally deep, breath-taking penetration. You have to try to ‘massage’ her front wall and clit with your penis first, before hard fast sex. My favorite positions are cowgirl (grrrr!), missionary with the man standing high or kneeling, the lotus (you can kiss and touch during sex), and cowboy! It’s important for your partner or yourself (whoever is on top) to try standing as high (and reach forward) as possible, it’s unbelievably orgasm-inducing. And remember to maintain eye contact, kiss and caress your partner, it’s called lovemaking after all! Believe me, guys, there’s nothing like vaginal orgasms!
And don’t worry, if it’s way too intense, she’ll stop you. Again, listening and paying attention to her response throughout is key. But as a rule of thumb: it’s better to lean slightly over the edge of too much stimulation into the land of potentially-another-orgasm than it is to delicately handle her like a fragile soufflé and give her an underwhelming/frustrating almost-orgasm.
Women should also take some time getting to know their bodies and how they work. In a 2011 survey by Debra Herbenick, an associate director at Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, women who felt positively about vibrators and had used one recently reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction – and higher levels of orgasm. If a woman knows what to do down there, chances are she’ll be able to help her partner learn the lay of the land too. And when it comes to having great sex, that’s a good thing. (Looking for a vibrator. Check out our sex toy reviews.)
Austin, I appreciate the effort, but you haven’t gone nearly far enough. “Guide to Giving Women Oral Sex” still builds in a gigantic host of assumptions that really only serve to marginalize various groups or individuals and substitute the constricting bonds of conventional societal mores in areas where we need to focus on inclusiveness.
However, I also feel an extremely strong, desperate need to get him to immediately start intercouse. The orgasms I have during intercouse after oral sex are very, very different from the orgasms I have during oral sex. They are some how warmer, more radiant, longer lasting, evoke greater feelings of love for my partner, and do not cause the intense, almost painful sensitivity caused by oral sex. As a result, I can have multiple orgasms during intercouse after oral sex.
You’ve gotta learn how to push her buttons, which is actually really easy when you know know. There’s an awesome guide called Revolutionary Sex that shows you everything and the techniques work so damn good. Here’s the guide: Revolutionary Sex – Give Her The Best Orgasm of Her Life
And perhaps the most obvious sign of her bodily arousal is production of vaginal lubrication, sometimes in large quantities, so much so that she may feel the wetness growing and seeping outwards into her underwear.
When you’re with a partner and you feel like the big O just isn’t going to happen, don’t resort to faking it. First of all, if he finds out, he’ll be really hurt. Second of all, that’s not going to help you in the future – if a guy thinks he’s doing the right thing (but he’s actually not), he’s just going to do it again. Instead, instruct him on what to do. Believe it or not, guys love the advice.
Now that there’s less fabric between your fingers and her, you can alternate pressing and rubbing her bell in a circular motion. If you need an understanding of bell location, reference a good sex self help book or Wikipedia.
Warm her up by keeping your touch gentle and slow-motion. Kiss, lick and tease her thighs and the sides of her pussy. Softly make out with it exactly like you would her mouth. Stop and use just your fingers for a little bit. Trace slow circles on her clit, then switch to rapid lateral micro-strokes, as if you were trying to gently rub a small stain out of your t-shirt. Using your middle and ring finger together works best here.
The authors concluded: “Part of this difference in perception could be due to women faking orgasms, which research has suggested women will do for a variety of reasons, including out of love for their partner, to protect their partner’s self-esteem, intoxication, or to bring the sexual encounter to an end.”