Yet again, another question about intercourse and (female) orgasms. I am 25 and have been having intercourse for about 1 1/2 years and have never experienced even the remotest possibility of climaxing from intercourse. Intercourse does NOTHING for me. I’ve read the Hite Report, I know it claims that only 30% of women orgasm from intercourse alone; however, most women who say they don’t orgasm from intercourse say that they at least receive some arousal or stimulation or pleasure from the sensation–it just doesn’t lead them to orgasm. However, I have never received the SLIGHTEST sexual pleasure from intercourse–and it’s making me so unhappy and desperate that I feel I’m going insane.
(3) Slow down. Extended sensual warm-up time helps women have orgasms. Compared with men, most women need considerably more time to warm up to genital play. Forget the wham bam you see in porn. When making love, do everything at half speed. Sex therapists recommend at least 30 minutes of kissing, cuddling, and whole-body sensual caressing before reaching between her legs.
Touch her as close as possible to the way she touches herself. Her body is likely used orgasming in a particular way and you need to mimic that. Once it happens you can vary the fun more but you need to get over the, pardon me, hump.
#2 Have some lube at the ready. Lube is very important for a variety of reasons. First, not all girls naturally lubricate generously even in their heightened state of arousal. And for beginners, it is safe to have a bottle of lube to ease her with the finger action if you forgot to properly turn her on.
This might sound weird, but I love the feeling of my spouse’s beard on my vaginal opening while he’s going to town on my clit. He’ll even press his chin hard against it because he knows it drives me wild. It just feels sooooooo good to me.
(4) Use a lubricant. Wetter is better. In just seconds, lubricant makes women’s (and men’s) genitals more erotically sensitive, so it helps women have orgasms. In addition, for women experiencing post-menopausal vaginal dryness, sex may feel uncomfortable without a lubricant.
When we orgasm, it is a response of the nervous system to sexual stimulation. Both men and women can experience orgasm under certain conditions, typically following genital stimulation, but there is a lot of variation in people’s orgasm experiences, says Justin Garcia, Scientific Advisor for Match.com.
Take it slow – When you finally decide to show her mercy and end the teasing, start off with a few gentle licks around the lips. Take your time and work your way up to the rough stuff (if that’s what she’s into).
There are many techniques, but one good way to start is by circling her bell with two or three fingers held together. The most sensitive part of her bell is at the bottom: her clitoral glans. On some women it’s completely covered by the “hood;” on other women it’s more exposed.
#5 Turn her on and make her wet. Turning her on with foreplay before fingering is a useful trick to make the experience more enjoyable for both. If she’s really turned on, she lubricates freely and she responds better to stimulation.
As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm. It’s often the transition from the plateau phase to the orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm.
If you want to give her the best orgasm of her life, it’s important to take it slow and create tension. If you focus on the build up, you’re way ahead of 95% of guys. Men and women are different when it comes to sexual arousal. For women, it’s more about the mood, kissing and touching.
As you’re telling her your plans, nibble her ears and pull her hair backwards to expose her neck. Caress, kiss and bite it and put a hand down her knickers to make fleeting contact. Don’t leave your hand down there long. Grope her thighs and don’t be afraid to be strong and assertive – if she knows you’re in charge she won’t know what to expect. Pay her breasts some attention. Leave her bra on to begin with and unveil one nipple at a time, always leaving her wanting more. You’ll know when you’re achieving this, because she’ll try and put your head and your hands where she wants them.
But remember to work gently at first! Just a flick of the tongue, or a chaste kiss in the beginning could intensify your partner’s sensations. And for your own benefit, remember to be present to taste, texture, smells, sensations. By now your partner is likely very aroused, and it is highly possible that you are, too. Once you have your mouth on your partner’s genitalia, just explore. Try different approaches such as varying pressure or speed of sucking or licking. Remain aware of his/her responses and use your intuition to keep the “conversation” ongoing.
While she’s orgasming, keep the stimulation the same for the first four seconds, then reduce dramatically and continuously, but don’t stop unless she pushes your hand away or motions for you to do so, which means you just have to slow down sooner next time.
Of course, I’m not suggesting you follow the same pattern of events every time. That was just an example. The idea is that you don’t fall into an oral routine where she’ll know what you’re going to do before you even start. Vary your movements, hold back, tease the hotspots and then let her have it. Too many people assume that the intimacy, the very notion of oral sex is enough to get a woman off with one flick of the tongue. But we’re not 17 anymore. You’ll have to be more imaginative. Trust me – it will pay off.
1) Please communicate. The advice I had doesn’t work on all girls, and there’s nothing but lovely fuzzy sexy orgasms to be had if you just check with your lady-friend about what they like. Do they like very gentle touching? Do they like more insistent touching? Do they like being teased for ages? Do they want your tongue on their clit? Just ask and incorporate (Please don’t have an actual conversation while eating her out, do it before sexytimes. If you don’t want to ruin the sexiness of it all, make it clear to her that she should tell you if she wants you to change anything you’re doing, and start on the gentler side.)
hell i liked that point sex is all about a women-loved massage , but hell no kissing & massaging for about 30 min , some couples just do it in a whole 30 min can’t believe ,…but i of course like it, as it truly seems getting hurt painfully by sex , not that much pleasure, that’s why some men think women drive them begging at the end , no it’s just all what they want
Naturally, use fingertips and lips. If whole, moist smooches around the neck may get the juices in the vagina going – what do you think kissing her down there can make? Let’s go further. At the time you experience she’s completely ready, I would recommend to accelerate the pace and also to increase the tension. At this point feel free to be a little harder. Then simply consider using your hands just by slipping a pair of fingers in the woman’s vagina. Accomplish this little by little until your mouth accelerate. The fist should be faced palm-up and 2 fingers slightly curved (we’re aiming for the G spot right here, let’s wait and watch if it’s going to give good results). Slip the fingers in for an inch and after that get them out… repeat that a few times. Then move them a few inches… and so a few times. Once you sense it’s getting broader, then feel free to get further as well as rougher.
Now, many women say their best orgasms happen courtesy of the man’s tongue or hand or a vibrator. But for women desiring orgasms during intercourse, these simple variations just allow a woman to enjoy a new erotic pleasure. Happy experimentation. Please comment on your results.