As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm. It’s often the transition from the plateau phase to the orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm.
Even if you decide to give a man oral sex, it doesn’t mean that you have to let him ejaculate (or cum) in your mouth – the choice is yours. Of course, if he’s wearing a condom this won’t be such an issue, and it means you will both be protected against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It’s also entirely up to you how long you continue for.
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We’ll tell you what gives. While tons of people like to brag that they are gifted when it comes to pleasuring a woman with oral sex, they probably aren’t. And to make matters worse, a lot of us are too embarrassed to call the shots and guide someone when they are down there. Nope, we grin and bear it and most of the time even give the person a pat on the back for their efforts. Awkward.
There’s only one rule about anal stimulation and it’s “No surprises!” If your woman is up for some experimenting, then use your pinky finger to LIGHTLY penetrate her anus. Make sure your hand is sideways and, just to be safe, keep fingering her vagina at the same time you slip it in.
Your girlfriend probably does not want to go to a gynecologist, because she feels that this is not the problem. One treatment for a dry vagina is lubricating gel. Do not tell her that she is lazy; instead try to understand her wishes and needs. Respect her, if she does not want to go to a gynecologist. To criticize her will kill all desire and she may resent this for a long time.
While 95 per cent of heterosexual men reporting that they usually or always orgasmed during sexually intimate moments, just 65 per cent of heterosexual women did. By contrast, the figure was 89 per cent for gay men, 86 per cent for lesbian women, 88 per cent for bisexual men and 66 per cent for bisexual women.
The woman can feel genuinely weightless and free-as-air – which is quite a novel sensation. Another bonus is that either partner can touch the clitoris easily. So it’s different and fun – and usually a great time is had by all.
While she’s recuperating from her clitoral climax, give her a g-spot orgasm. It’ll take less and less time for her to come with every orgasm you give her until the point where one starts happening before the last is done.
Oral sex is an essential part of great foreplay, but can be a full-on sexual experience in its own right. Plus, getting her aroused orally means less pressure on you to last forever during the main event.
Lastly, think about introducing some contrasting sensation: during wild, hard sex, pause to murmur your lips on the nape of her neck; during gloriously intimate missionary, clasp her buttocks firmly, so she feels the point of your nails. My pleasure.
– Use the index and middle finger for penetration. Start off with the middle finger as it is the longest and has the farther reach especially when stimulating the G-spot. Using both fingers is recommended for G-spot stimulation as it covers more surface area than one finger alone. [Read: How to finger yourself – A girl’s guide to fingering herself to ecstasy]
Also there is Yogasm, where you girl can reach orgasm without touching her clitoris or stimulating. There is video of girl getting orgasm without touching herself on http://www.fapon.me (care its NSFW)
That said, not all men are willing to perform oral sex — which means some millennial women who haven’t previously had partners who want to go down might view it as an adventurous new act. Tackling this new adventure can make many women more open to trying other new things during a sexual encounter.
Co-author of the research Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of biology at Indiana University and author of The Case of the Female Orgasm, continued: “About 30 per cent of men actually think that intercourse is the best way for women to have orgasm, and that is sort of a tragic figure because it couldn’t be more incorrect.
The real value, though, is in the “touchable” videos that let you practice the techniques. They used thousands of images of each woman’s vagina to create incredibly realistic simulations that respond to the speed, pressure, location and rhythm of your fingers on a touchscreen device. As you follow the instructions and perform the techniques correctly, you’re rewarded with (again, pretty hot) audio feedback.
12. “Please don’t do the alphabet. can tell when you’re doing that, and it’s really fucking weird, and awkward. Sometimes I feel like they’re trying to spell out something in code. Just weird. Don’t do it.” —April, 28
Back to the basics, stimulating the clitoris and (for some women) pressure in or around the vagina can cause pelvic fullness and body tension to build up to a peak. During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels through the whole pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. The inner vaginal lips swell and change shape, and the vagina balloons upward, causing the uterus to shift position. Orgasm is the point at which all the tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions in the vagina, uterus, and/or rectum.
I am 34 and my wife is 31. We have been married for five years. Since marriage, we have never been sure whether she has had a real orgasm. I am noticing her interest in sex declining, and assume it is because she is not getting enough pleasure out of it. Please suggest how I can increase her sexual pleasure and provide her with an orgasm.
Once you make it to her clit and vagina, gently lick all around. Direct stimulation can be too intense for some, so explore the surrounding area. Ask her where she likes to be touched. You don’t have to be rough with your mouth unless she wants you to. It’s always best to start off slow, unless she specifically requests otherwise. Some women do like it when you roughly use your tongue and mouth, but only do so if she asks.
After foreplay by kissing and fondling (may have to continue for up to 20 minutes) the partner or the person herself stimulates the clitoris (the area below the labia or genital lips, and above the vagina opening) by rapidly flicking a finger or the tongue back and forward or up and down. Do not press hard. If you are using a finger, be sure to use lots of lubricating gel (can be bought at a drug store). If you are using the tongue, lubricating gel is usually not necessary, since lubrication comes from the mouth. Ask her to concentracte on sexy thoughts at the same time.
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There isn’t one single procedure for it. What everyone else told you is true, it’s individual and requires patience and attention and sensitivity. What makes me fly to the moon isn’t what makes your girlfriend do that. Try things, be gentle, be loving, and she will come.
In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.
“I love [giving oral sex] because it seems to be one of the most pleasurable things you can do for a woman. To hear and feel her reactions from that incredibly intimate point of contact is both bonding and super sexy, for me.” — Logan*, 22
Guys tend to go at it too hard, I guess in the theory that pressure is more exciting or because that’s how they like it on their cock. Hard licks or sucking doesn’t feel good to me, it gets into overstimulation and even pain. Light flickers, alternating with very gentle sweeps or circles… that’s the ticket. Also making sure that the woman is comfortable both physically and emotionally. Let her lie on her back, tell her how beautiful and hot her pussy is. Spend time kissing her and looking her in the eyes before going down. Touch her other places when you’re down there. I like a guy to caress my thighs, reach down to gently spread my knees apart further (very erotic), occasionally reach up to touch and squeeze my breasts. Murmur and smile occasionally to reassure her you like it and aren’t grossed out by her. If you’ve got the look and demeanor of martyrdom, no one’s going to have any fun.
You sound luke that one guy who only got lucky due to a heavy amount of alcohol, and because all he has is fuzzy images from the night before thinks he is some kind of sex god who gets to criticise people on an online forum for stating their opinion, or are you incapable of knowing what a forum topic and post are about.
With age comes maturity, and with maturity comes the knowledge that sex usually just isn’t as fun when only one partner gets off. One of the primary reasons men say they love giving oral sex is partly selfish: Making women feel good makes them feel good.
What’s the difference between a vaginal and clitoral orgasm? Is it only possible to have a vaginal orgasm during intercourse? If you can have a clitoral orgasm through other activity, but not intercourse, why is that? If your clitoris is stimulated during intercourse, will that give you a clitoral orgasm during sex? So how do you have a vaginal one? Can you have both at the same time?
I’m sorry to hear that. Unfortunately since I dont know your wife there is not much more advice I can give. You guys can go to a therapist about it though. There are even sex therapists who specialize in helping people with these problems. And you are not alone a lot of couples go through this.
Before you even start, look at your partner’s penis or vagina. I love it when clients tell me that they think their partner’s genitalia is beautiful! Have a real, proper look. Notice its contours, size, color, firmness, hairiness. Allow your eyes to take everything in. Does it make you want to smile and giggle? Does it make you more turned on? Whatever arises for you, embrace it. In honoring your partner’s parts with your eyes, you begin to realize the complexities of this amazing part of the body.
The complexity of sexual relations is shown by the fact that orgasm is not only enjoyed by the person having orgasm. The orgasm of the man is important to the woman, and reversely the orgasm of the woman is felt as important for many men, maybe too important.
Instead, Mindvalley Academy’s intimacy coach and author of Tantra Touch, Psalm Isadora, has eight simple steps to help women embrace their bodies and reach the blissful state of orgasm — potentially multiple times.