Appreciate her body for what it can and can’t do right now, and validate every bit of pleasure she feels. You have to make her comfortable. And, without getting into too much detail about “tricks” you should ensure the following:
She’s almost naked now but keep her underwear on for another minute or so. “Stroke and caress her through the fabric rather than going for gold,” says sex therapist Paula Hall. “Focus on building anticipation rather than going straight for direct stimulation.” Feeling that time is short prevents a woman from reaching orgasm, adds Webber. Act like you’ve got forever, but then peel off her underwear and use Durex’s new strawberry-scented Intimate Lube (durex.com). This will get her excited, and make her more sensitive. Research at the US Association for Chemical Reception Sciences found the scent of strawberries alerts the senses. Move your fingers in slow, circular motions just inside her vagina. “Many women need attention focused on the outer third of the vaginal canal, where the G-spot, the clitoris, and the PS-spot (opposite the G-spot) can be reached,” says Emma Taylor of the sex blog emandlo.com. Women love a man who’s good with his hands…
Nice to see a answer on female orgasms that includes the fact the Clitoris actually extends down and around the vagina and lower portion of the anus. So many assume the Clit and Vagina are separate entities when they are actually as you said “as a network of nerves and muscles”. I’m always blown away how many females don’t know their own anatomy and how it works. Many miss out on great sex because of this.
I sure have done so. I’m also a bisexual girl, although since I still have a penis, I don’t yet have that kind of experience on the receiving end. I like to think that I’m pretty darn good at giving it all the same. The current top comment here is pretty spot on in what I like to receive and what my partners have enjoyed.
Extra tip: finger her upper wall with two fingers, with a “come here” motion, at the same time as performing oral… this will put pressure on her g-spot, which in reality, is the internal part of the clitoral cluster.
When it comes to a long-lasting, sensational bedroom session, foreplay is an absolute must. This is why learning how to stimulate your woman down south with the hardest working muscle of the body—the tongue—is incredibly important. After all, receiving oral is the sole way many ladies are actually able to achieve a leg-shaking climax. Here, we outline a step-by-step guide on how to touch, rub, and lick her lady bits for a mind-blowing finish!
Women can enjoy sex even if they do not get an orgasm. They enjoy the nearness and intimacy, the fondling and the feeling of love and desire. A request from the man that she must have an orgasm can be a problem for the woman. In spite of this, you should try to learn to satisfy her. I know of women who have left their boyfriends when they have met a man who knows the right way.
Michael, as always you continue to offer really sensitive advice to help women have more pleasure. I for one, wonder about how you “get it” so thoroughly. You must really listen to women. A quick read of any of your blogs and books would answer Lily’s accusations of missing the surround sound that makes the sexual experience so great for a woman.. I know you advise about that over and over!
(1) Don’t expect her to have orgasms during intercourse. On TV and in movies and pornography, women always seem to have orgasms during intercourse. That’s much more fantasy than reality. In real sex, only about one-quarter of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The old in-and-out can be great fun, but it brings only a minority of women to orgasm. Three-quarters of women need direct stimulation of the clitoris.
In the bottom third of the ellipse is the vaginal entrance. Push the tip of your tongue slightly inside. The walls of the vaginal opening are extremely sensitive, always approach them slowly and gently. The tip of your tongue, being soft and wet, should give her a feeling of pleasure.
Some women “opt out” when the physical sensations get too intense. In that case, and if your girlfriend is willing, some light bondage can be very effective. It can free the woman from decision-making about when to stop, what they “should” be doing, etc. It’s a great way to break a plateau. And many women who have never had an orgasm simply don’t know what they are missing. Its great that you care enough to work so hard at pleasuring her.
I was with a guy once who was enthusiastically performing oral on me. I had told him ahead of time that it feels nice bt that I’ve never met a guy that could make me climax that way. Well, this one was different. I don’t remember what he did, but I started feeling that warm, beautiful tension building. I was quickly approaching the point of no return. I murmured “don’t stop, I’m gonna cum” and he was SO pleased that he got totally thrown off and yeah. That’s how I almost came for the first time in my life without my Hitachi (haven’t ever been able to do it with my fingers)
And once you reach your second, the doors are wide open: “if you can have two, you can have three, four, or more! There is no limit on how many orgasms a woman can experience,” Rose says. If it doesn’t happen the first time, don’t worry—practicing is something you and your partner can both enjoy.
“Swallow – You know what I’m talking about! If you’re doing it right, it will be inevitable that she will urinate in your mouth. Don’t be afraid. Encourage her. And when she does, give her the same courtesy you’d expect and swallow every drop.”
#8 Magic fingers. The above steps alone are often enough, but adding in fingers can help her, and enhance the orgasm. The clitoris is a bit like a small tree, with an immense underground root system. What you see is just a small part of it, the rest runs under the skin in a wishbone shape, down along both sides of the vagina, nearly to her anus.
Thanks for the great info Michael! Just want to add in a little bit of my opinion. If guys want to make your female partner orgasm during intercourse isn’t easy and you need to last at least 5minutes above to make your partner orgasm. If people who can’t last longer than 5 minutes of thrusting your female partner, you should get a mini time out. But do remember, you don’t want to entirely end on intimate contact. Otherwise, you’ll have to re-work harder to get to another higher state of arousal. So maintain the caressing until you feel that hypersensitivity lessen and the heat returning to your moan zone. Hope it helps! =D
Finally I think I need to point out that “guide” is by no means a neutral term. To be able to guide someone in performing oral sex, we have to assume that there is a correct way to go about it, or at least some ways that are better or worse. This, I think, leads to a whole host of problems, but I’ll set those aside and simply focus on the narrower issue of whether someone who performs oral sex in a way not suggested by this “guide” (for example, someone who chooses to “ignore [their] hands while going down on [their] girl”) is somehow deficient sexually and is failing to give their partner the pleasure that oral sex ought to entail, or something like that. Better perhaps to phrase these things as “suggestions” or “options” and avoid excluding people who choose to act differently, or who perhaps do not have mobility in their arms (for example) due to a physical disability.
Great tips, and as a woman I totally agree with what’s said here. I hate it when a guy goes too quick from the get-go and will just find a way to stop him. Take your time guys and don’t use the tip of your tongue as much as the flat, soft top of the tongue. Em
“Women really are tremendously variable in how readily they orgasm and what makes one woman orgasm can be quite different than what makes another woman orgasm,” said Prof Frederick. “Explicit and direct communication with one’s partner is key.”
What you should do on your way down, however, is gently kiss her chest, stomach, and inner thighs—throw in some light nibbles, too. Do this until you reach final point of destination, and then slowly and softly dig in with your tongue. Also, the slower the better – the wait will kill her with anticipation.
Wow. I’ve got news for you fella, I don’t know what planet you’re from, but on Earth anyone born with a vagina IS in FACT a girl/woman. Anyone who would tell you otherwise apparently failed Junior High School biology class or they value pseudo “political- correctness” over cold, hard facts. Also, “shutting down entire avenues of self-identity” isn’t damaging anyone any more than they’ve already been damaged by being born freaks who don’t even know whether or not they are male or female! And aside from that, nobody gives a shit whether or not sex workers are being sexually fulfilled through cunnilingus or anything else. And in case you were unaware, prostitution is stigmatized because it’s not only illegitimate but also illegal in most countries on Earth. God didn’t give us the gift of lovemaking so we could sell our asses on a street corner or to the highest bidder, but so that a man and women can express their love for each other. Also I doubt if you’re really that busy if you had enough time to write all that nonsense.