These differences mean that men often have the wrong expectations from a woman. Sometimes, it is the man, not the woman, who wants her to have an orgasm. Men also have incorrect expectations because of porn movies. In porn movies, the women cry and moan, so men believe that a woman is more satisfied if she cries and moans. In reality, a woman gets more silent and withdrawn when getting closer to, or having, an orgasm. It is not uncommon that women fake orgasm, cry and moan because that is what the man expects them to do. Of course, sex will be more satisfying if men understood women better instead of the woman having to fake an orgasm to make him satisfied.
Be careful kissing women under their navel. Even very fit women can be sensitive about their bellies, and if they are even slightly jiggly down there, that can be a big “no-no area” to lick or nibble unless you are really, really comfortable with each other.
Some guys will jump head first off the high dive into her lap and start lapping her up like their lives depended on it. There’s a time and a place for that, but her experience will be way more pleasurable if you start out very, very slow.
Although we will never be perfect in accounting for every possible diversity, there is much we can learn from each other that can change the way we interact and communicate our ideas with less potential for discriminatory interpretation and causing heterosexist repercussions, such as those I previously described in my other comment. Speaking to your initial point, it doesn’t matter whether or not the article was written for a majority of heterosexual students. (Does that mean that discrimination is OK as long as you don’t discriminate on the “in-group”/majority group, compared to the “out-group”/minority group?) The actual article is unremarkable to this discussion insofar as there is still a belief that, as you state, “The title…“A Guy’s Guide to Oral Sex”…seems properly worded enough…because that’s what the article is about” continues to be the current position. That is, in fact, not what the article is geared up to be to many people. Therefore, in the context of this discussion and article, it is important to recognize that not only guys give oral sex to women (lesbian women, etc.), and that not all guys that are giving oral sex are giving such to women (gay men, etc.) A more appropriate title would be “Guide to Giving Women Oral Sex” where it does not assume that the person giving oral sex is neither a man, woman, nor anything in between, and does not assume that what is contained in the article is only informative to “guys”. I know quite a few lesbian women that would love to know #1-5!
And remember, always first clarify what the woman wants. Many women enjoy sex even without an orgasm, and do not think that orgasm is necessary to be satisfied. Other women, however, are not satisfied unless they get an orgasm.
In my consulting room, I’ve seen many successful women – including lawyers, bankers and TV presenters – who were quite unaware of what it takes for most women to climax and who, as a result, had spent ages blaming themselves and feeling inadequate.
I want to say that if you’re ok with him putting his mouth on your vagina you should be ok with being honest about your needs, but I get sometimes it’s the how to say it that’s difficult. Try casually mentioning how you read this thing on Reddit that made you really horny at work/class/on the train and I guarantee he’ll ask you what it was. Then give it a bit of ‘some guy asked for tips on giving women good oral and the top comment was way more than I bargained for – here, I’ll show you’. Hopefully he’ll either take it on board, or you can use it as an opportunity to start the broader conversation about who likes what.
Second enabling her to get a vibrator and leaving her alone with it for awhile. It’s a bit of a panicky feeling when you’re not accustomed to masturbating, and it make take her some good solo playing around to work from little O up to bigger O without worrying about performance anxiety. (If she happens to be a bath-taker, get her a waterproof vibe. Also, yes, Hitachi is too intense as a starter vibe.)
Using a condom or dental dam (a thin, soft plastic that covers the vagina or anus) will protect you from most sexually transmitted infections. If you don’t have a dental dam you can also make an effective barrier by cutting a condom lengthways from bottom to top forming one piece of material that can be used like a dental dam.
a vibrator is not the solution cause then your woman experience an clitoral orgasm and not an orgasm through intercourse. order the dvd program penetration orgasm mastery and learn the secrets of penetration orgasm without vibrators but through intercourse. 100% money back guaranteed if you are not satisfied.
Wear a musky scent. Smell is the strongest of the five senses when it comes to sexual function. A musky scent is supposed to work as it mimics testosterone and kicks our libido up a gear. If we orgasm that time around, we’re more likely to do so again when the same scent is worn because memory, scent and sex are closely connected in the brain!
Appreciate her performance: Tell her, literally tell her how good she is and how she makes you go weak in your knees every time you see her. Complimenting her performance in bed will make her more interested and keen on sustaining the act with vigor and passion.
Also known as the Venus Mound, the soft patch of skin above the vulva is the key to orgasm for many women, as sucking, stroking and rubbing this region also massages the shaft of her inner clitoris. While you’re going down on her, use three fingers to gently press upward on the bottom section of her Venus Mound while using her hip movements and breath patterns to guide your rhythm.
Take a short break: That said, don’t leave the bed. If you both have reached your orgasm and plan to continue lovemaking, stay in bed. To revive your energy levels, hug, cuddle, kiss and talk. Remember, lovemaking is not just a physical act and it requires a level of emotional bonding too. Once you’ve reached climax don’t just turn your back on her or flip onto your back; look deep into her eyes and reassure her about how attracted you are to her and how much you cherish your time with her. Do this and odds are you wont need to work too hard to stimulate her for a continued session of love making.
An alternative technique is sensory overload. “Simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation is far and away the fastest route to orgasm,” says Hall. Having her from behind is the best position for this because while you work the former, you can call up sex-toy reinforcements to take care of the latter. “My recommendation would be one from the discreet but powerful Philips Sensual range.”
https://theeroticreviewblog.wordpress.com/2016/06/15/16-women-on-how-they-wish-guys-would-give-them-oral-thought-catalog/ 16 Women On How They Wish Guys Would Give Them Oral — Thought Catalog | The Erotic Review
When we orgasm, it is a response of the nervous system to sexual stimulation. Both men and women can experience orgasm under certain conditions, typically following genital stimulation, but there is a lot of variation in people’s orgasm experiences, says Justin Garcia, Scientific Advisor for Match.com.
You might want to fact-check that lol. I know you’re wrong, and you posted this 2 years ago, so perhaps you know better now too but holy shit haha. How could possibly have ever thought that? Porn is a big industry consisting of many big companies that would be…ya know…torn apart by their executives and performers being put in prison for very long periods of time, if what you said were true. Nope, sorry, porn is a legitimate industry, like anything else. Porn actresses are no more forced into performing in porn movies than regular actresses are forced into performing in regular movies.
I did know a girl once who had Anorgasmia, and that is something that there really is no cure for. It’s possible, and more common in women. I’m not saying be pessimistic really, but realise it’s a possibility.
You know in movies where a character ends up standing beside their own self, watching themselves interact with someone else? That sums up my first few years of sex– so self-conscious and insecure that it was as though I were standing beside the bed, watching. Not in a good, lascivious way, either, in an “eww, he’s touching my big butt” way. I ended up feeling like I was there to serve and please my boyfriend rather than as an even partner. I feel like I can help here because I’m having a LOT more fun these past few years. Some people here have made really good suggestions– she should definitely experiment alone (certain books get me in the mood). You should let her know that you are really turned on by her and she can trust you. I like the idea of telling her to use *you* as a sex toy, to focus on her own pleasure alone. But if you can find a way to keep her mind from wandering (to whatever anxious fear it’s running from) and stumbling during that delicious escalation to orgasm– talking dirty works for me (the element of surprise and then the sheer nastiness is wildly distracting and fun). A boyfriend once mentioned that I was pretty quiet during sex, and aiming to please (though without the idea of self-pleasure in mind), I started consciously making more noise and then was surprised to find that my body was sort of following my porno-moaning-and-growling lead and feeling less inhibited and removed from the situation at hand. Anyway, make sure she knows that you find her sexy, remind her that she is sexy, and keep on trying. She’ll thank you (she’ll exhaust you!) when that wall finally breaks down.
Tease her and drive her crazy with anticipation – I like to kiss and lick my way to her pussy, gently breathe onto it, but then change course and work my way back up her leg. This can be done multiple times, as long as it’s funny. The best is when she can’t take it anymore and pulls your face between her legs.
By now, your girl should be clawing at the sheets, but don’t be mistaken in thinking you need one final trick to clinch the result. “Women hate too much chopping and changing of techniques,” says Dr Joni Frater, co-author of Love Her Right (Booksurge). “It distracts us, and takes our arousal back to the starting blocks.” You don’t really want to start over just before you reach the finish, do you?
“Women really are tremendously variable in how readily they orgasm and what makes one woman orgasm can be quite different than what makes another woman orgasm,” said Prof Frederick. “Explicit and direct communication with one’s partner is key.”
Technically, this is cheating, but if there’s no touching it doesn’t count. Take her to live comedy or meet up on a day she has a spinning or yoga class. This preps her core-gasm because ab exercises stimulate the vagus nerve running through her pelvis. As the countdown draws closer, have some quiet drinks back at your flat. University of Florence research found that women who drink a glass or two of red wine are more aroused. When the bottle is empty, you can set the stop watch.
I suspect that this was due to my internal visual interpretation of the phrase “eating her out”, combined with high school cafeteria innuendo jokes made by girls about the length of a guys tongue. I mean, we were all pretty ignorant as to how to the job done at the time. So, to all those teenage guys and girls reading this thread, you can thank us “old” folk for inventing the Interwebs and giving you valuable educational resources like /r/sex!
I am 28 years old. I’ve had a problem for years now; well, I had this problem all my life and I was too ashamed to seek help. Here it goes: during sexual intercourse, I never feel any sensation or tingling feelings, I feel nothing. I can feel the penis, but that is all. This has been with every guy I’ve been with and I’ve been with about 15 guys. I’m currently dating this guy for five years. I love him, but during sex, I feel nothing. He turns me on, and I get aroused, but when it comes to actually having sex, I feel NOTHING. It’s like I have a disjunction in my vagina. Does it have something to do with my clitoris? What is wrong with me? Please, can you tell me? I will eventually see a doctor, but I just want to know, what is the problem with me? Please, I would really appreciate it, I’ve kinda learned to live with it. Sad, right? 🙂
The pain on deep penetration is him hitting your cervix. For some women that is extremely uncomfortable, and it can also be painful for days after. Get him not to go so deep, change positions to shallower positions, get him a penis ring that will stop him from going deep, or close your legs with his outside yours. also remember todo lots and lots of kegel exercises to tone your pelvic muscles and keep everything in its place.
Katiecat disputes the widely-held idea that she’s got to be able to do it for herself before you can do it for her, but I’d say it more generically – in sex, everyone is responsible for their own orgasm. Not meaning that you’re just on your own, but you’ve got to help guide your partner to what you need to get off. If she’s unable or unwilling to do that you need to back down – this isn’t your quest to lead.
Mindset and being at-ease is important for most women when it comes to orgasm so you’ll be taking a good first step by deciding to step back and let it happen – or not – when it happens. Let her know you’re interested in her pleasure and you think orgasms are peachy-keen but you’ll take your cue from her about what she wants from sex. Not only will that probably be your best path towards getting her off but having a comfortable and open communication about sex is the best path towards an overall gratifying sex life between the sheets (and on the table and in the yard and…)
For men and women alike, the act of giving oral sex can actually create sensations throughout her body that will enhance and increase feelings of sexual pleasure. Some women report that they get more aroused from giving oral sex, than from any other kind of foreplay activity.
but what should I do then? I sometimes give her a clitorical orgasm already, but then I dunno if that’s the right thing to do, cuz then when we have sex, she probably doens’t enjoy is at much cuz she already “got it”
There is a fine line to walk where women are concerned. On the one hand, orgasms as a goal for women should not be devalued at all, and should have a rightful and supreme place in the pantheon of sexual experiences worth seeking and finding.
I tested every trick and technique I learned on many different types of women.From young rich college co-eds to more mature and experienced women.From women who were shy and inexperienced to the erotically liberated freaks.I took note of the stuff that worked and dropped the shit that didnt and ended up with the list of 67 techniques that make women come.67 techniques that I used to be 100% positive my clients were satisfied every single time.”
Stamina is the biggest key to great oral. One of the biggest secrets to being able to stick with it is to totally relax your jaw. The tendency most men have while licking is to clench up, which is what causes most guys to quickly burn out and not make it to the payoff.