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The difference between people who are good in bed and people who are not isn’t that the people who are good in bed have learned all the techniques or discovered the secret. The people who are good in bed know that everyone is different, so the way you please a person is to listen to that person, talk about that person’s turn-ons and fantasies, and above all else, pay attention to the way that person’s body responds.
After this first lesson, I send my clients away with a homework assignment. During sex, they are to tense up their muscles and let their minds go silent. This technique takes practice, but it can work over time. And more often than not, my clients return to a future session with their own good news to report.
Ask any woman how many times she’s laid on her back, bored and frustrated, her clit having retreated deep inside her, with some unfortunate, badly educated man between her legs, lapping like a thirsty dog, his tongue aching and almost numb, the only stiff part of him being his neck. I think you’ll be surprised at the answer.
thanks to the ladies who’ve already said nix to the “vibrators are bad for women” comment, and seconded/thirded/whatever. especially the bit about how the more women have orgasms, the more able they are to have more in the future. for me anyway, and most of my female friends, it’s like a burner. you can keep it completely switched off as often as you like, and when it’s off, you don’t even think about it. but once you do light it, you can just go and go and go, varying intensity, whatever. you have to light it though first. otherwise it’s totally shut.
I’m 17 and I can get an orgasm in like ten minutes as all I do is just rub myself and then wet my fingers and the slowly at first rub my clitoris and then kind of build up my speed when it feels right and then it feel good and your fingers automatically just keep going and you don’t want to stop so I hope this helps you kind of get an orgasm
“Part of this difference in perception could be due to women faking orgasms, which research has suggested women will do for a variety of reasons, including out of love for their partner, to protect their partner’s self-esteem, intoxication, or to bring the sexual encounter to an end,” the authors note.
In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.
In contrast, the vaginal walls contain relatively few nerve endings. Only the lower third of the vagina has enough nerve endings to feel stimulation from a penis, finger, sex toy, or other penetrative object. This can make intense sexual stimulation, pleasure, and orgasm from vaginal-only penetration unlikely. In reality, the clitoris is perfectly placed. You might consider the clitoris to be “inaccessible” because in-and-out intercourse does not touch your button of joy. The challenge is for you and your partner to find and cultivate its potential.
“Guys generally worry about their dick size or sex skills, and would probably err on the side of caution that they are less than average at both (though they would probably never publicly admit it). If you become good at [giving head], you generally don’t have to worry about lacking in the other departments.” — Curtis
Don’t underestimate the power of relieving her mind of household concerns as a way to help her relax into the right frame of mind. As one writer pointed out, vacuuming, cleaning the sink, etc. will enable her to focus on you more.
I agree with the CAT position, it seems to work well. But in the end, it still seems like a woman is much like a car on a cold winter day; they need warming up. From what I’ve learned from my partners and friends is that men mostly just don’t take the time to “warm them up.” Also, men make it a lot about themselves and less about the woman–this is what my friends is. Also, just being a fun lover is what women want more than anything, a guy who just makes sex fun. Women are usually pretty insecure about their bodies even if they are what we men would call a 10. From my experience, women have to just get out of their heads and worry less about themselves physically. Regardless of positions or angles, or anything else–it starts in their heads unlike us.
Whatever doctor told her she can’t have orgasms is full of shit. Barring any medical conditions, there’s absolutely no reason it would be impossible. For you, though, what you can do is provide sensuous, fun, warm, pressure-free, comfortable sex that is obsessively not goal-oriented. There is nothing unsexier than trying wayyy too hard to give her an orgasm; that experience swiftly becomes all about worrying that you’re disappointing your partner, or feeling guilty that he’s working so hard and nothing’s happening. Worry and guilt are unsexy emotions. So just enjoy each other, keep it light, keep exploring. It’ll happen.
Many men believe that one goal of lovemaking is to “give” women earth-shattering orgasms. But orgasm is something no one “gives.” Orgasms are like laughter. Comedians might be funny, but they don’t “make” us laugh. We release laughter from deep within ourselves when conditions feel right. Rather than “giving” women orgasms, men should focus on what allows women to have them. These suggestions increase her likelihood of happy endings:
Lastly, if you’re aiming to go all the way to the climactic end, note that some girls achieve orgasm later than others. By that time, her natural juices might have dried out which makes a quick squirt of lube very handy. [Read: The best lubricants for sex – 15 winners from the kitchen cupboard]
It’s fair for you to expect her to be clean, just as you should be if you want a blowjob. Take a shower together before sex to ensure you’re both spotlessly clean and smelling like roses. If it’s an ongoing problem in your relationship, it’s okay to nicely tell her she needs to focus more attention there. There should be no smell after washing. [Read: 16 ways to get a girl to give you head and really enjoy it!]
I have already commented on my distaste for some of the comments in response to the author’s intentions because of political correctness. But I thought it merited further expression. A few people stated that they thought that these individuals negatively commenting on this thread were ‘intelligent’ and that they could not sound as smart as them. Well, I would like to say that you are wrong in your thinking. Just because a person is learned and speaks well doesn’t make them intelligent…it makes them articulate. Car salesmen are articulate, so are English teachers as well as con artists…would you allow these individuals to set the norm for the rest of mankind? Of course not. Because articulation doesn’t not compare to being wise. I know a lot of so-called ‘intelligent’ people that cant function in society because they are too socially awkward. Or can’t do menial tasks like cook dinner nor properly show compassion (sociopaths). Take Einstien for instance, gave us the theory of relativity but couldn’t relatively tie his own shoe without assistance. He came up with some of the most brilliant quantum theories but didn’t know better not to marry his cousin. Point is…don’t be fooled by pretty words and a pile of supposed demographics. A person can be intelligent, articulate and poise…doesn’t make them any less of an idiot than the rest of us. Supposed negatively motivated intelligent responses to this thread are a perfect point in case to this fact. Life is about diversity…being different and retaining the right to live as such.
However, if you’re all freaked out by this and making a big deal about it, then you need to back off. You can’t FORCE someone to come, and trying like HELL repeatedly will make her feel broken or inaqequate. Be anamazing lover, but don’t put her in the spotlight every time you get into bed and try to make this time “the” time constantly. That is tiresome.
Women can have ten different kinds of orgasms, so while a man might think his penis is the most fun tool he has, he can probably challenge himself by learning the 9 other types of orgasms he can stimulate.
This makes a lot of women believe that they can’t have multiple orgasms. But they can. All women can. By giving her a little time to recuperate and then SLOWLY building the pressure up again with a much lighter technique, you can make her come again a second time.
Now head back to her clit and edge her to the brink of orgasm with your favorite oral technique. Then return to g-spot stimulation but this time give it to her through penetration. Place her legs up over your shoulders and thrust back and forth. Because of the angle created by the pillow, you’ll be thrusting directly into her g-spot.
How to “train” your penis to stay hard and that are able to control when you will cum? It’s actually quite simple. All you have to do is train your PC (Pubococcygeus muscle) which you can do by doing kegel excercises. My favourite method is to masturbate and hold my orgasm for as long as I can. If you can masturbate for 30min without releasing your orgasm you will be able to perform in bed for about the same amount of time.
But many couple wish the woman could come during intercourse. The good news is that there are easy, loving ways to boost women’s chance of orgasm during intercourse. The easiest ways involve the woman-on-top and rear entry (doggie) positions. Orgasm is more challenging in the man-on-top (missionary) position, but a minor adjustment makes it considerably more likely.
When you get the signals that she’s turned on and getting close to orgasm, keep doing what you’re doing. So look out for heavy breathing, moaning, an increase in her lubrication, grinding or pulsing, and possibly gripping your hair or the bedclothes tightly.
We all like being good at things. (Remember how awesome it felt to get a gold star on that fourth-grade math test?) That sentiment also applies to sex: Being told how good you are at giving head is a pretty big ego boost.
Wear a musky scent. Smell is the strongest of the five senses when it comes to sexual function. A musky scent is supposed to work as it mimics testosterone and kicks our libido up a gear. If we orgasm that time around, we’re more likely to do so again when the same scent is worn because memory, scent and sex are closely connected in the brain!
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Time for you to take your tricks for a test drive. With all that attention, her skin will be flushed, her pupils dilated, parts of her shaking, and those she can steady, she’ll be pushing into you — until she’s done and can’t take anymore, that is. Now that’s how to make her orgasm for real and, trust us, you’ll be able to tell the difference.
A woman’s vagina is extremely delicate. Countless nerve endings are packed into one area. Touch it the right way and you’ll give pleasure, touch it the wrong way and you’ll cause pain. Giving great oral sex is not easy, but if you follow these tips and techniques, you’ll find a very happy woman next to you in bed.